Words of Encouragement After a Death in the Family

Signing a sympathy carte du jour isn't easy. Nosotros search for words. We wonder what would be comforting to hear. We worry about saying the wrong affair…

Merely even though it'due south not easy, it is important to reach out in sympathy. Our words tin't take abroad the pain of losing a loved one, but they tin go a long way toward helping a grieving person feel loved and supported.

Y'all should know right upward front that you won't find the perfect thing to write hither. However, you will detect ideas from seasoned Authentication writers for good, helpful and hopeful things to write in a sympathy card.

We hope our tips assistance y'all relax, write and share your heartfelt caring with someone who is going through a time of grief.

Sympathy Messages: What to Write in a Sympathy Card

• Condolences
• Appreciation
• Offer to Help
• Following Up
• Sudden or Unexpected Death
• When Someone Has Died by Suicide
• When Yous Cannot Attend the Memorial Service
• Loss of Parent
• Loss of Spouse or Partner
• Loss of Child
• Miscarriage
• Loss of Pet
• Sympathy Closings
• What NOT to Write in a Sympathy Card
• What to write in a sympathy carte VIDEO

Condolences

In that location are many good reasons for keeping your personal sympathy bulletin short. It could be that the carte du jour has already expressed about or all of what yous wanted to say. Or maybe y'all didn't know the deceased well, or at all. Whatever the reason, you can absolutely exist cursory and withal come beyond as warm and caring.

Examples

• "We are and then deplorable for your loss."
• "I'chiliad going to miss her, besides."
• "I promise you lot feel surrounded by much dearest."
• "Sharing in your sadness equally you call back Juan."
• "Sharing in your sadness as you call back Dan."
• "Sending healing prayers and comforting hugs. I am so sorry for your loss."
• "With deepest sympathy as you remember Robert."
• "I was saddened to hear that your grandfather passed away. My thoughts are with you and your family."
• "Remembering your wonderful mother and wishing you condolement."
• "Information technology was truly a pleasance working with your father for 17 years. He will be deeply missed."
• "Thinking of y'all all as you gloat your sibling'southward remarkable life."
• "Thinking of y'all all as y'all celebrate your grandmother'southward remarkable life."
• "We are missing Anne forth with yous. With heartfelt sympathy,"
• "Thinking of you and wishing you moments of peace and condolement as you remember a friend who was so close to you."
• "Our family is keeping your family unit in our thoughts and prayers."
• "Property you close in my thoughts and hoping you are doing OK."
• "Even though at that place is joy in the homegoing, at that place is sorrow in your loss. Thinking of you at this tender time."
• "Te acompaño en estos momentos de gran tristeza."

Writing tip: If you knew the person who has passed simply non the surviving family member(s) to whom you lot're sending your card, it might exist helpful to mention your connexion to their loved one (from school, through work, etc.).

Appreciation

It tin can be a great comfort to a grieving person or family to hear that others thought highly of their loved one, too. If you knew and admired the loved one who has transitioned, exist sure to let your recipient(s) know.

Examples

• "What an astonishing person and what a remarkable life. I feel so lucky that I got to know him."
• "What a good and generous human being your father was. I thought his funeral service was a wonderful tribute to him and all he has done for our customs. He volition be missed."
• "Your grandad believed in uplifting everyone in his circle. I was one of those people. And I am then honored to have known him."
• "Your mama was an amazing lady, and I feel privileged to accept known her. I know you lot volition miss her deeply. I'll be keeping y'all in my thoughts and prayers."
• "Jubilant the life of a good person and mourning their passing with you lot."
• "Celebrating the life of a proficient man and mourning his passing with you."
• "Your girl touched so many lives for the good. I'thousand grateful I had the chance to know her every bit both a colleague and a cherished friend."
• "Your female parent blessed so many people with her religion and kindness. Praying that yous'll observe condolement in your memories of her and in the knowledge that others are missing her, as well."
• "Our abuela told us our stories, passed down traditions and held us together in dearest. We are so blessed to come from her and to feel her love from heaven."
• "I have the all-time memories of staying with Aunt Edie as a kid. I don't think I've told you this, but starting when I was virtually ten, she would take me to Becker's for ice foam cones…and allow me drive! Merely Aunt Edie…I'thou going to miss her fun-loving spirit so much."
• "Nobody could tell a funny story like your mom. Remember at your graduation party—the story about the vacuuming incident? My face hurt for a full twenty-four hour period after from laughing so much. I'll always cherish those memories of fun times spent with her."
• "Your mama was always doing for people. A lot of people have been blessed past her kindness and hold her close in their hearts."
• "Qué persona tan maravillosa y qué vida tan extraordinaria. Me alegra mucho el haberla conocido."

Writing tip: Need a more specific word than "good" to describe the deceased? Consider ane of these: kindhearted, talented, admired, unforgettable, fun-loving, funny, wonderful, well-loved, lovely, sweet, generous, one-of-a-kind, one-in-a-million, honorable, respected, caring, hardworking, strong, energetic, happy.

Offer to Assist

If you're in a position to help your recipient with arrangements, meals, housework, g work, childcare or something else, then experience costless to include an offering to practise and so as function of your message. But be sure to follow up and follow through.

Examples

• "I know I can't make your hurting get away, merely I want y'all to know I'm hither with a shoulder or an ear or anything else yous need."
• "Thinking of your family with love and wanting to help out in whatsoever mode I tin. I'll phone call to meet when would be a good night to bring over a repast."
• "You've got so much on your mind and on your heart right at present. We promise it volition brand one less worry to know that Kevin and I will exist taking intendance of the chiliad for as long as yous need."
• "I know this must be a very difficult and demanding time for you all. We are keeping yous in our thoughts and prayers. If in that location is anything nosotros can practise—from walking Max to picking upwards your dry cleaning, please permit us know."
• "It'southward so important to become your rest. I'll take the kids for a couple of hours whenever you demand fourth dimension to sit quietly."
• "Sé que no puedo desaparecer el dolor que estás sintiendo, pero aquí estoy para lo que necesites."

Writing tip: In general, the more specific your offer of aid, the improve. And no job is too small.

Following Up

When someone y'all know is grieving, you might want to offer ongoing messages of support in the weeks and months following the loss of their loved 1. You can send these cards to note an occasion similar the loved one's birthday, a hymeneals anniversary, holidays or whatever other fourth dimension when the grieving person may need extra support.

Examples

• "It's been a while, but I know that the hurt doesn't become away when the cards and casseroles do. I'm yet hither for you lot."
• "Just wanted to allow you know we're remembering your mom on her altogether and sending lots of caring thoughts your manner."
• "I know Christmas won't be the same without DeMarcus, just I hope it helps a little to know that yous're in my thoughts and prayers, particularly through the holidays."
• "Hard to believe it'southward been a yr since we said good-cheerio to Noah. Couldn't let this anniversary go by without letting you know that I'g thinking of you."
• "This Kwanzaa flavor, there is a new ancestor to honor. Thinking of you lot, your mother and your family equally you light the kinara."
• "Solo quería que supieras que sigo pensando en ti y en tu familia."

Writing tip: You will detect some cards specific to sympathy follow-upwards, just yous might also choose to go with an encouragement or thinking-of-you card, or a blank carte du jour with a beautiful or lighthearted photo on the cover, depending on the tone y'all're going for.

Sudden or Unexpected Death

It's never easy to lose someone we honey. But often, a loss that no 1 saw coming can atomic number 82 to complicated grief. This might be because of the deceased's young age or apparent good wellness or an accident or other tragic circumstances. Whatsoever the instance, these kinds of losses call for boosted condolement, agreement and ongoing back up.

Examples

• Words Fail: "I'm not sure what to say in the face of such a difficult loss. But desire you to know that I care about you, and I share in your sadness."
• Acknowledging Unexpectedness: "We were surprised and saddened to hear nearly Mike'southward passing. He was such a good guy. We're going to miss him so much, too."
• I'm Pitiful: "I'm deeply sorry your family unit is experiencing the hurting of a loss similar this. My heart goes out to each of you."
• This Is Particularly Hard: "We never would have felt fix to say expert-bye to someone as special equally Christina, merely this timing feels especially tough. Wishing your family condolement and strength for the days and weeks ahead. We'll be praying for all of you."
• Wishes/Prayers: "Keeping you in my warmest thoughts as you navigate this difficult time—and wishing yous hope and healing when you're set."
• I'grand Hither for You lot: "It's going to take time to go through the stupor of this loss. Just want you to know we'll be here for you all the fashion."
• Ongoing Support: "Hey, I know it's been a couple of months since you lost Ernesto. Just want you to know I haven't forgotten. I'm still thinking about you lot. And I'm here to aid out, listen, whatever yous need."
• Cuando no encuentras las palabras adecuadas: "Ojalá supiera qué decirte ante esta pérdida tan inesperada… Pero lo que sí quiero que sepas es que lo siento mucho."

Pro Tip: If everything y'all try to write feels incorrect or awkward, then continue your message curt. The uncomplicated human activity of sending a card communicates caring—even if you simply sign information technology "With deepest sympathy" followed by your name.

When Someone Has Died past Suicide

Losing a loved ane to suicide is devastating, and the isolation that can consequence from others not knowing what to say or how to support has its ain sting. Making the try to connect is an of import starting time footstep. Offer your sincere condolences without questions and without judgment.

Examples

• Loss of Close Friend: "Trey was such a honey and loyal friend. He made an incredible bear on on me and I will miss him so much. All my thoughts are with you and your family."
• Loss of Family Member of Close Friend: "Friend, there are no words for something every bit heartbreaking equally this. I wish you didn't have to know this pain. Call me any time, 24-hour interval or night, and I'll be checking in with you through the days and weeks to come."
• Unintentional (east.g. overdose): "I know how difficult your sibling was struggling and how much your family has been through, and I'one thousand then sorry this happened."
• Military/PTSD: "Your family unit has served this country with courage and honour. You lot accept and then much to be proud of. I hope that tin can bring you some condolement in your heartache."
• "It'due south not fair that PTSD took someone who already gave so much of himself/herself to others. Information technology shouldn't be this way. I hope that you lot feel surrounded by love and back up every step of this journey."
• Immature Person: "I'm nevertheless stunned near Ramesh. I can't imagine what such a loving family like yours is going through right now. Ramesh really shone his low-cal when he was here. I loved that virtually him. He volition be remembered and loved always."
• LGBTQ: "Kai was 100% themselves, and I loved that virtually them. Their cocky-assuredness is something that volition e'er inspire me fifty-fifty equally I miss them so much. If you ever want to share memories and stories, I'chiliad hither."
• En este momento tan difícil de entender.
• Pérdida de un familiar o amigo: "No puedo imaginar lo que están sintiendo en este momento tan difícil de entender, pero espero que tú y tu familia encuentren paz y consuelo en los gratos recuerdos de su ser amado. Los acompaño en su dolor."

Writing Tips:Acknowledge that the topic of suicide is very sensitive, and the recipient may have many complicated feelings. It'southward important not to share your opinions on suicide and instead be supportive of the person grieving and however they are experiencing grief.

Language Notation: In being compassionate toward people whose lives take been impacted by suicide, it is important to avoid terms like "committing suicide," which can evoke feelings of guilt and blame. Instead, say "died of suicide" or "died past suicide."

When Y'all Cannot Attend the Memorial Service

Information technology's a very human instinct to desire to offer condolences and back up in person when someone has died. Notwithstanding, for a variety of reasons—either your ain circumstances or the family unit'due south need to forego or delay a memorial service—it may be incommunicable to exercise and so. In those cases, you may wish to say a little more in your written message.

Examples

• Wish I Could Be With You: "I wish I could be there to honor your dad along with you. He was a great human."
• Looking Ahead to a Memorial Later On: "I know Kara'southward memorial service won't happen for a few months yet. Simply didn't want to let that much time become by without reaching out to tell yous how saddened I am by her passing. She was such a sweetheart. She'll be securely missed."
• This Is Hard: "It's hard to lose someone who meant so much to all of us, and fifty-fifty harder that we can't all be together to say proficient-good day. Nosotros want yous to know we're with you in spirit—now and in the days and weeks ahead."
• I'thousand Here for Y'all in Other Ways: "Even though I can't be there for Tom'south service, merely want y'all to know I'm here to drop food past, mow the backyard or annihilation else that comes up."
• Homegoing: "There is a celebration in heaven and a celebration in our hearts even though we can't be at that place to put our arms around you."
• "Ojalá pudiera estar ahí contigo para honrar la memoria de tu papá. Fue un gran hombre."

Pro Tip: When you can't exist there to honor the deceased in person, y'all might too choose to make some kind of honoring gesture in addition to sending a sympathy card.

Loss of Parent

It's never easy to lose a parent. No matter how former we are, no affair how close or complicated the relationship, it hits hard. And it calls for some special words of comfort. (Note: These message examples alternate references to female parent and father but could work for either.)

Examples

• Compliment: "Your father was such a wonderful man. I was lucky to know him."
• She'll Always Be With You: "You'll e'er recall how information technology felt to laugh with her and be loved by her. I hope those memories will bring comfort in fourth dimension."
• He Lives on in Y'all: "The lessons your dad taught yous, the love he gave, the manner he cared for people…all those skilful things alive on in y'all."
• You Were a Comfort: "You lot were a joy to your mother all your life, and a huge condolement to her over these past few months. It'due south sad to lose her, merely I hope you feel practiced near the way you were at that place for her."
• Miss Him Besides: "Only wanted to say how much your father meant to me, and how much I miss him, also."
• Loved Her Too: "Your mom was such a practiced friend. I loved her, too."
• When Y'all Didn't Know Him: "I didn't take the take chances to know your father, but I know he must take been someone special to have raised a keen son like you lot."
• This Is Hard: "It'south and so hard maxim bye to your mom. My center goes out to you right now."
• He was a colonnade in our community: "Your daddy was begetter, blood brother, uncle and wise elder to so many in our community. He was much of a man."
• Share a Memory: "Nobody could match your dad for making people feel special. I'll always retrieve existence the smallest child on the pee-wee baseball team he coached, only feeling big, considering he made me squad helm."
• Siempre estará contigo: "El amor infinito de tu mamá siempre permanecerá en tu corazón, y su recuerdo vivirá para siempre en nuestras memorias. Lo sentimos mucho."

Pro Tip: If you've lost a parent yourself, information technology's fine to mention that, merely have care non to brand your message more than virtually you and your experience. Go along the focus on sending condolement and support to the person you're writing to, and don't assume you understand exactly how they experience.

Loss of Spouse or Partner

Someone who's just lost their spouse or partner is both grieving and also facing a huge aligning to their twenty-four hours-to-day living and sense of identity. Whether they've been sharing life for six years or sixty years, it'southward a shock to lose that feeling of togetherness in everything. Y'all might choose to admit this in a direct or indirect mode in what you write.

Examples

• Compliment the Relationship: "What the two of you shared was truly something special. You loved each other so well."
• Compliment the Deceased: "Stephanie was one of the funniest, most vibrant people I've ever met. I'one thousand so grateful I got to know her."
• He'll Always Be With You: "Someone who shared and then much of life with y'all will forever exist a role of y'all. Keeping yous in my prayers as you remember your husband."
• Accept Intendance of Yourself: "I know the days and months ahead will exist a large adjustment, so delight give yourself a lot of grace. Practice any you need to take care of you—and know I'm here for you, also."
• I Believe in You: "I know it must experience like this hurting will never end. Merely I believe in my middle that comfort volition detect you when y'all're ready. I believe you lot've got the strength to come through. And in time, I hope you'll believe it, also."
• Miss Her Also: "Linda was such a terrific colleague and friend. I miss her deeply."
• Loved Him Likewise: "I hope it helps a picayune to hear how much Matt was loved by others, too—me, for ane."
• When You Don't Know the Surviving Spouse/Partner: "Fifty-fifty though we haven't had the chance to meet in person, I experience like I know you from the glowing style Jim talked about you. Information technology was easy to run across how much he loved you."
• This Is Hard: "Losing the ane you love is so hard. And so I'm praying difficult for you—for peace, for condolement, for whatever you need right now."
• Share a Retentivity: "I was just thinking near Anne's unforgettable dinner parties—especially the one with the notorious lemon-bar incident. That was the best. And SHE was the best."
• Share What's True: "He held you down and lifted you up in this world. I hope y'all tin can still experience him and his beloved effectually yous."
• Admiración hacia la pareja: "El amor que compartieron fue realmente especial. Deseo de todo corazón que su recuerdo te traiga tranquilidad y consuelo."

Writing Tip: For a surviving spouse who still has kids living information technology home, consider including them in your message. You could mention them in your greeting ("Love Ellen and Family" or "Beloved Finn, Katie, and Joe"), in the body of your message, or both. Another option would be to send a divide card to each of the kids.

Loss of Kid

This is an especially tough one. Every parent wants then much to nurture, protect, and meet their child abound up, merely sadly, life doesn't always work out that way. When writing to someone who's lost a child, effort to relax and call up that the gesture of reaching out volition probably mean just equally much as the bodily words you write.

Examples

• Compliment: "Della was such a sweetness girl. I wish she could take stayed with you lot, and with all of us, for and then much longer."
• They'll Always Exist a Function of You: "You'll always miss Alex, but they'll always be with y'all in the memories you go on, the stories your family tells, the laughter yous share, and the love you all hold for them. May those good things help heal the hurt in time."
• I'm Sad: "Then deeply sorry y'all take to go through a heartbreak like this. Sharing in your sorrow and keeping your family unit in our most caring prayers."
• Time Was Short/Love Was Big: "Even though Maddie was with united states of america for likewise brusque a time, she filled the earth effectually her with so much joy. And yous filled hers with so much love."
• His Life Mattered: "Though we only got to hold him for a little while, he brought us together and brought so many smiles. Celebrating all the days that were brighter because he was hither."
• Loved Her Too: "I hope there'southward some comfort in knowing how much nosotros loved Aya, too."
• Miss Him Besides: "Missing Henry right along with you."
• This Is Heartbreaking: "It just feels wrong that you should have to say cheerio to your child. Whatsoever y'all're feeling, please know yous're not solitary. I'1000 just one of many who want to exercise whatsoever we tin can to back up y'all in the weeks and months to come."
• Share a Memory: "Jamal was the first to be a friend to anybody who needed one. I was simply remembering when our course got a new student this bound, and Jamal made a point of sitting with him at luncheon. He was a special kid."
• Siempre será parte de ti: "Tu hijo es una estrella en el cielo, y su luz iluminará siempre tu camino y tu corazón."

Writing Tip: You tin can adapt most of these message ideas for parents who have lost an adult son or daughter. The heartbroken feeling that life isn't supposed to piece of work like this will even so apply—and the need for caring, support, and prayers volition be similar, as well.

Miscarriage

Miscarriage is the kind of loss that you lot may but know about if you lot're role of the mom's or couple'due south inner circle of family and friends. If that's the case, you lot have a unique opportunity exist a source of comfort and support in a world that doesn't know.

Examples

• Your Loss Is Real: "The honey you felt for your baby-to-be was real, and so is the loss yous're experiencing. I hope you can be gentle with yourself and honor whatever you're feeling right now."
• I'm Sorry: "I'm so sad you've had to let go of the dreams you were already cherishing for your baby."
• This Is Hard: "I tin't brainstorm to understand all you're feeling right now, but I know it can't be easy. I wish you lot didn't have to go through a loss similar this."
• Wish for Healing: "Keeping you and Keisha in my thoughts and hoping for healing to come up to you in time."
• I'm Here for You: "I was deeply saddened to hear yous've had a miscarriage. Just desire y'all to know I'one thousand here for you—to talk, to bring over a meal, or any you need right now."
• It's Not Your Error: "Simply wanted to remind you that at that place was nada you could or should take done differently. Sometimes these things just happen. I'm sorry it had to happen to you."
• Lo siento: "Siento mucho la pérdida de tu bebé. Aquí estoy para ti, para hablar, para escucharte, para lo que necesites."

Writing Tip: Information technology's pitiful for an expecting mother to lose a pregnancy fifty-fifty when she already has children, or may become on to have others. So avoid saying annihilation similar "At least you lot already have Emma" or "You can always try again." Those thoughts come from a proficient identify, just they risk implying that the mom or couple should merely get over it quickly and movement on.

Find more messages and ways to back up parents who have lost a baby.

Loss of Pet

Pets are genuinely family members for a lot of united states, and when nosotros lose one, it can be a huge comfort to take others recognize how much they meant and how sad it is to say cheerio.

Examples

• Compliment: "Benny was such a skilful domestic dog. And so sorry yous've had to say good day to him."
• Yous Loved Her Well: "From your outset hello, to your concluding good day, Shadow felt how much you loved her. She was 1 lucky kitty to have you for her person."
• Wish for Proficient Memories: "Wishing y'all smiles amid the tears every bit you remember happy times with your loyal companion and friend."
• She'll Always Be Part of Y'all: "Trixie may be gone from your lap, but she'll stay in your heart forever."
• Miss Him Too: "I was so deplorable to hear nigh Speck. I certain am going to miss seeing him when I'1000 out walking."
• She Meant a Lot: "Our fur babies hold such an important place in our lives and our hearts. Thinking of you lot as you remember Gertie."
• Share a Retention: "I'll never forget walking into your kitchen and finding every single cabinet open and Fluff peeking out from a drawer. He was such a clever cat."
• "Lucas era united nations perro tan bueno y cariñoso. Siento mucho que hayas tenido que decirle adiós."

Pro Tip: If your recipient has had to make the hard conclusion to take their pet put to sleep, consider affirming them in that conclusion. Permit them know you support their choice, that you know it wasn't easy, that you share their sadness but are glad their friend isn't hurting anymore.

Sympathy Closings

A warm, respectful closing is a svelte way to wrap upwards your sympathy message. Choose ane of these, or create your ain.

• With sympathy,
• With deepest sympathy,
• With heartfelt sympathy,
• With prayers and sympathy,
• With sincere sympathy,
• With warm thoughts and prayers,
• With caring,
• With love at this sad time,
• In caring sympathy,
• With you in sorrow,
• Sharing your sadness,
• Thinking of you,
• Caring thoughts are with yous,
• God bless,
• God bless yous and comfort yous,
• Keeping you in our prayers,
• Lifting you up in prayer,
• Praying for y'all,
• Wishing yous peace,
• Wishing you healing,
• My heart goes out to you lot,
• Please have our condolences,
• My sincere condolences,
• Prayerfully,
• Con el más sentido pésame,

What Non to Write in a Sympathy Menu

Here are a few thoughts and phrases to avoid in sympathy cards, because they chance either minimizing the recipients' unique feelings of grief or actually making them experience worse.

Examples

• "I know how y'all feel." We all feel and process grief differently.
• "She was and so young." No need for a potentially painful reminder.
• "What a terrible loss." Avert dwelling on the pain or difficulty of the loss.
• "You should…" Instead of advice, offering condolement and support.
• "You lot will…" Steer clear of predictions about how their grief journey volition get.
• "This happened for a reason." Even with the best intentions backside it, this thought risks assigning blame for the death.
• "Sé cómo te sientes." No es bueno asumir cómo se sienten las personas. Todos experimentamos el duelo de manera diferente.

Writing tip: If you're still worried about proverb the incorrect affair, then keep your bulletin very brusque. The simple act of sending the card lets your recipient know you care.

What to write in a sympathy card VIDEO

Find out the unproblematic formula for crafting your ain sympathy bulletin and go some existent life examples and lookout man-outs from Hallmark Senior Author Cat Hollyer.

• Tags:
• Greeting Bill of fare Letters and Ideas
• What to write video guide

• Credits:
• Additional contributions by Cat Hollyer, Linda Barnes, Allyson Cook and Suzanne Heins. Melvina Immature, Megan Haave and Cindy Phillips.

Keely Chace is a Authentication Principal Writer who loves reading, running and spending time with her husband and daughters. She shares writing tips in her "What to Write" serial on Hallmark & Community.

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Source: https://ideas.hallmark.com/articles/sympathy-ideas/what-to-write-in-a-sympathy-card/